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Jennnifffoes
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Name: Jennifer
Gender: Female
Interests: the ultimate show WILL AND GRACE!..yep and i also like will and grace,will and grace,will and grace, and finally, WILL AND GRACE!
Expertise: Yo mamma...
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
11/10/2003
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| I don't know who still reads this and I think no one because everyone has shifted to Facebook or Myspace or Other. The truth is. I dated someone for over a year. We ended April 18 because we had a lot of uncontrollable fighting. Mostly because of me because I had like anger and jealousy filling up inside me.
Her name is Ashley Hu. I love her. Now all of those reading are probably saying "WoW. I did not know you were like that." The truth is I didn't really express that side and I guess I didn't know I was, but the truth is I only wanted her from beginning to end. Only reason I actually WANTED to just say "who cares if she IS a girl."
I just wanted those who didn't know to know and that I'm not afraid.
However I do have one favor to ask. I beg you all not to tell people because clearly this is none of your business at the same time.
Thank you.
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| Sometimes I just feel like
Sometimes I think I just might
Show these people what my level of greatness is like
I feel like someone who has it all
But has done nothing to stand tall
Somtimes I just want to raise my voice
Sometimes I just want to die
Make everyone ask the other why
Life feel likes its waiting for something
In the end its not a thing at all its actually you
But when you finally found out its all too late
Sometimes I look at my grandmother, the only grand left
Sometimes I wonder just how much of life I missed out on
So I just sit and weep for the pain that is just too deep.
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| Lord let it be known
That I have fallen to the darkness
Resisting it with all my strength
But it only feeds off of it
I cannot bear to walk with frustration in my heart
The pain of losing everything I know.
I have sprouted hatred and bitterness
The sadness within me due to a dream becoming so close
then slipping right through my fingers.
Because of all the negativity I have been exposed to
It only spreads to others...
All I want is to reach my own life goal
The One thing that rests in my heart...something physical
But. I have been rejected by it. Perhaps it may be a test to see how far I'm willing
to go and how hard I will fight for my dream. But it seems this endless battle will
only end with me losing it all.
Help me... | | |
| Do I always want to be who I say?
All she wants is success for me
Push me to my max potential
I always end up disappointing her
Never again will I believe in myself
Why. Why does she still carry the faith that I'll make it?
Okay Jennifer, go be the architect and build our dream home.
But I don't even meet the basic requirements.
Then help catch them bad guys and make home safer.
What if I lose you in the process? I'll never forgive myself.
Then go out there and save them people in fires
But the heat, it makes me fearful.
So I end up sayin to myself
Don't do it for you, do it for her, for everyone
Let her know that I will get somewhere
Life has a destiny and reason for all
Don't give up until I do achieve a dream
So I'll die knowing I made her happy.
Have you chosen a path yet? Will you ever?
I look around and find myself nowhere.
All I wanted was for you to get somewhere Rong Rong.
I tired but my lifes too short to complete a dream.
I'm already happy, you were all I needed, all I wanted.
I just needed you to get what you want, to be happy with me.
Its okay, I get it, I'm not enough for you, being with me isn't happiness to you
So I'm gone.
But Baby wait, that's not how it is at all.
Goodbye.
Don't do it for you, do it for her, for everyone
Let them know that I can get somewhere
Life has a destiny and reason for all
Don't give up until I do achieve a dream
So I'll die knowing I made you happy.
4 years later after all the schooling
After all the training, the practice
I wake up, find myself packing
I turn around, bend down, kiss her goodbye,
and tell her I won't be home tonight.
Don't be scared, it's just temporary heat, I love you.
I'm livin' the dream, she's happy. I'm happy.
I'm everything I can be, and that's just being me. | | |
| It is currently December 25, 2006 at 2:02AM. I wish I knew what was ahead of me, rather deciding the path and having to walk it myself. There's quite a few things that happened this year-things I never expected to happen anytime soon.
1. I lost someone very dear to me.
2. I became a bit distant with my own group of friends.
3. I became closer to a few different friends.
4. I got to know myself a little better.
5. -
I think the most difficult thing a person needs to do in life is not Let Go, it's Grabbing On. We're so afraid of getting hurt, being dropped, finding truth, and feeling pain, but yet we put ourselves at risk for those. We all cry for help, but what we really want is comfort from all the walls closing in.
The hardest part to deal with is seeing someone as this hero you didn't think existed, but did. What I never knew was that my own superhero would be the person who can't save me. I won't hate and pretend I never cared, instead I'll embrace and see the fact that things now are different.
In time I hope you can forgive me, and know that I'm always watching over you. I'm sorry, but I'm about to take this key and unlock myself from the chains we put on each other to help each other through the path. Everything meant more to me than you, but I need you to formally know. I'm letting go. I'm slowly walking away from you, as if we were something that could be thrown away and dissolved instantly.
One last thing. I told you there is a scar on my thumb, that I got as a child that I wasn't born with. It was developed over time from situations that happened. I said you were like that scar, ugly but permanent. You said to me "Don't worry, unlike the scar I'll always be around." You lied to me. The scars still here, but your not. I lied too, you aren't the scar. Your not the one I thought you were to be. You were just another person I walked by and had a chat with on my walk.
Superhero.
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